On the subject of Love


At times,love and its expression in relationships puzzles me.  I consider the questions, how does love act, what does it look like, how does it speak.  As my children are, occasionally, perplexed by the relationship between their father and me (happily divorced); I consider love, its purpose and meaning.  Why do we love?  Who do we love? How do we love?  Here is what I have discovered so far.

Why do we love?  It is our design to crave connection with the world around us and the others in it.  We love because it is in our psychological and emotional DNA.  At its core love is about relationship.  We find it difficult to love absolute strangers and find it easy to love close acquaintances.  I believe the very desire for intimacy compels us to love others.  It is our innate need for companion(s) that purposes love.  We love simply because that is what we were born to do.  We live to give and receive love.  Yet, this answer in itself is insufficient.  I submit there is more.

Who do we love?  In listening to conversations I find an infinite supply of answers to this question.  Simply put we love people, places, things, and ideas though not, necessarily, in that order.  For example, I love the smell of roses.  I love this killer pair of gold stilettos.  I love rain. I love my kids.  I love my hometown.  I love the month of June.  Most importantly, I love God.  The fact is love is not limited to merely who but also what.  That is the beauty.  Love extends with limitless boundaries to whosoever or whatsoever I choose.  Therein is the enigma, We choose love.  How then do we choose it?

How do we love? Love is as multifaceted as humanity is diverse.  Christians examine and consider the First Epistle of the Apostle Paul written to the Church at Corinth in exactly the 13th chapter.  Affectionately called the Love chapter.  In the fourth through the seventh verses of the aforementioned selection we are given a series of characteristics.  I believe these are not mere virtues and aspects but behaviors and decisions:

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (I Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT)

Love when given to objects can never be fully realized for objects cannot make decisions.  Love when bestowed with regard to ideas results in great and at times, unrealistic passions and pursuits.  There is a balance that we must learn with regard to our ideas.  Love, however, when lavished upon God and others yields a satisfaction that is beyond compare.   For love, you see, is not based upon how I feel or what someone feels about me but upon how I choose to live.  Love with regard to people is the decision to live in a relationship of intimacy in all aspects of my being.  Love is the choice to pour kindness, patience, forgiveness, mercy, grace, praise, honesty, humility, sympathy, empathy, trust and the like into someone else not because of who he or she is or what they can do.  It is the choice to live with the endurance to see others succeed for their own sake but with the knowledge that they may  not do the same for you (a hard saying I know).  Just as God has loved us, because he chose to and we cannot change that, I love you, whoever and  you are because I choose to and you cannot do a thing about.  Is it easy, not in the least but the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.  I am not saying that love will not hurt, quite the contrary, love endures notwithstanding of pain.  Love is more than an emotion in fact it tempers the emotions.  I look forward to growing more in this area and to watching you grow as well.  I know there are many stones left unturned and am sure to consider them in the future.   Enjoying the journey!

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One Response to “On the subject of Love”

  1. In the grander scheme love is what keeps us going, when our body says give up or give in. Thanks for the great perspective on love. Much love to you! WOW!!

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